Blog Post
What can I expect from the 1st therapy session?
Silvia Bauer • 8 December 2022
5 questions you can consider before your 1st session
"The beginning is difficult, but it gets easier from there on '' (Erki Nool).
It is normal to feel nervous or maybe anxious before the first counselling session - but it's going to be worth taking the first step. Maybe you have had some counselling experiences before, or maybe it's your first step into counselling at all. No matter which way you have come, counselling can always appear somehow intimidating as we're supposed to open up about our very personal struggles...and more often than not you haven't a clue how that's supposed to work. Don't worry, you're not on your own, and every beginning holds its own magic.
There's really no need to prepare for the first therapy session, but if it helps you feel more secure, I gathered 5 topics that will be discussed during at the beginning of the therapy process, and you are welcome to think about them in advance.
I intentionally called it “the beginning of the therapy process” and not just the first session, as sometimes it can take some sessions to collect all the information – and that’s perfectly fine.
Although there’s no fixed order, I’d suggest the first question to be the most important and that’s where I usually start:
1. What's the reason you're looking for counselling?
You may have set a very clear goal, e.g. “I want to work out how to have a more satisfying relationship with my partner” or you may feel like something in your life is just a bit off the track, and it is hard to identify the reason. There may not even be a particular topic you’re currently dealing with. Both approaches are equally valuable.
You may have been referred to seek psychotherapy by your friend, doctor or clinical psychologist - or you read an article about mental health issues and want to give it a try.
2. Did you have a psychological assessment or any psychotherapeutic-, psychiatric- or medical treatment before?
If you already have some experiences with treatments - no matter whether medical treatment, therapeutic- or psychological counselling (e.g. Studierendenberatung), I am happy to integrate them, and we'll not start from scratch. All former experiences of your healing process are valuable and worthy of knowing.
It's fine and sufficient to talk about treatments, and it can be easier to bring the written report or diagnostic findings if available.
If you have some ongoing psychological assessments – don’t hesitate to come to the first session. As well, if you’re in the process of adjusting to psych drugs, please feel free to start psychotherapy. It’s not at all necessary to have completed the psychopharmalogical treatment.
3. Can you afford weekly therapy sessions – the money and time?
In our busy schedules, it is sometimes hard to scrape out some space for another activity. Nevertheless, psychotherapy does need some resources to be invested from the very beginning on. Don’t worry, it will pay back after a while for sure.
As the process can appear at times emotionally draining and just can be really hard at times, it is important to keep going on a regular basis.
I explored the different investments of therapy from short- and long-term processes in another blog https://www.psychotherapy-bauer.at/how-many-therapy-sessions-will-i-need.
4. Do you know about the legal frame for psychotherapy in general as provided by the health ministry?
As psychotherapy is a mental health treatment, it's regulated by the Federal Ministry of Republic of Austria for Social Affairs and Health. There's a law of psychotherapy (Psychotherapiegesetz) regulating the standardized treatment process, as well as providing ethical (et al.) guidelines. It’s published by the Austrian counselling association (ÖBVP). https://www.psychotherapie.at/psychotherapeutinnen/rechtsinformationen
Further, you can find general information from the Ministry for Health about all the therapy approaches legally released in Austria: https://www.sozialministerium.at/dam/jcr:067ed3c8-aaea-4c84-84c2-a3afb9cef836/Patienteninformation_(BMGSPK),_Stand_29.04.2020.pdf
5. Would you like to know any further information about the person-centered approach?
Some clients have chosen to see me due to the person-centered approach (founded by the American psychologist Carl Rogers) I am trained in, others don’t care about the theoretical framework and are looking for some help in their particular situation. For the therapy outcome, it is not required from you to know how it works.
Mainly we're doing emotional work in therapy, and that's not much related to understanding the process of healing.
Still, if you're interested to know, I'll tell you how I understand the person-centered approach and why I am fully committed to working this way.
The main idea is that the person (here client) heals and develops personally when they can experience a trustworthy, accepting and empathetic relationship. I do believe, the person has an innate ability to know their way towards healing. Especially at the beginning it can be challenging to believe and trust this idea. I try to understand you as good as I possibly can and help you discover your way. I think you just need a counsellor to share your experiences, to understand and accept yourself fully. Carl Rogers put it this way "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change".
So, in my opinion, besides all the theoretic approaches, it is fundamental for a successful therapy outcome that you feel safe and understood so that you can open up and explore your experiences that have been too scary or shameful until now. I also gave an impression on the person-centered approach on https://www.psychotherapy-bauer.at/en-gb/psychotherapie
In this blog, I’ve given you a rough impression about the initial session. The required information can be worked out with your counselor, and you are in total control of how much you're ready to share and how much information you need.
Those considerations above you could start before the first session, but they can be developed throughout the first few sessions as well. Not everything has to be solved within one hour.
It is normal to feel nervous or maybe anxious before the first counselling session - but it's going to be worth taking the first step. Maybe you have had some counselling experiences before, or maybe it's your first step into counselling at all. No matter which way you have come, counselling can always appear somehow intimidating as we're supposed to open up about our very personal struggles...and more often than not you haven't a clue how that's supposed to work. Don't worry, you're not on your own, and every beginning holds its own magic.
There's really no need to prepare for the first therapy session, but if it helps you feel more secure, I gathered 5 topics that will be discussed during at the beginning of the therapy process, and you are welcome to think about them in advance.
I intentionally called it “the beginning of the therapy process” and not just the first session, as sometimes it can take some sessions to collect all the information – and that’s perfectly fine.
Although there’s no fixed order, I’d suggest the first question to be the most important and that’s where I usually start:
1. What's the reason you're looking for counselling?
You may have set a very clear goal, e.g. “I want to work out how to have a more satisfying relationship with my partner” or you may feel like something in your life is just a bit off the track, and it is hard to identify the reason. There may not even be a particular topic you’re currently dealing with. Both approaches are equally valuable.
You may have been referred to seek psychotherapy by your friend, doctor or clinical psychologist - or you read an article about mental health issues and want to give it a try.
No matter if your goal is set, or you have a vague hunch - everything is valid and good enough to bring it up.
If you already have some experiences with treatments - no matter whether medical treatment, therapeutic- or psychological counselling (e.g. Studierendenberatung), I am happy to integrate them, and we'll not start from scratch. All former experiences of your healing process are valuable and worthy of knowing.
It's fine and sufficient to talk about treatments, and it can be easier to bring the written report or diagnostic findings if available.
If you have some ongoing psychological assessments – don’t hesitate to come to the first session. As well, if you’re in the process of adjusting to psych drugs, please feel free to start psychotherapy. It’s not at all necessary to have completed the psychopharmalogical treatment.
Please feel free to start therapy at any given moment. We’ll adapt to all the upcoming changes influenced by other medical- and psychiatric treatments.
In our busy schedules, it is sometimes hard to scrape out some space for another activity. Nevertheless, psychotherapy does need some resources to be invested from the very beginning on. Don’t worry, it will pay back after a while for sure.
As the process can appear at times emotionally draining and just can be really hard at times, it is important to keep going on a regular basis.
I explored the different investments of therapy from short- and long-term processes in another blog https://www.psychotherapy-bauer.at/how-many-therapy-sessions-will-i-need.
No matter whether you're up for a short or long process, it will take some time and money. Please consider what you can afford, and certainly share doubts and questions in the initial session.
As psychotherapy is a mental health treatment, it's regulated by the Federal Ministry of Republic of Austria for Social Affairs and Health. There's a law of psychotherapy (Psychotherapiegesetz) regulating the standardized treatment process, as well as providing ethical (et al.) guidelines. It’s published by the Austrian counselling association (ÖBVP). https://www.psychotherapie.at/psychotherapeutinnen/rechtsinformationen
Further, you can find general information from the Ministry for Health about all the therapy approaches legally released in Austria: https://www.sozialministerium.at/dam/jcr:067ed3c8-aaea-4c84-84c2-a3afb9cef836/Patienteninformation_(BMGSPK),_Stand_29.04.2020.pdf
5. Would you like to know any further information about the person-centered approach?
Some clients have chosen to see me due to the person-centered approach (founded by the American psychologist Carl Rogers) I am trained in, others don’t care about the theoretical framework and are looking for some help in their particular situation. For the therapy outcome, it is not required from you to know how it works.
Mainly we're doing emotional work in therapy, and that's not much related to understanding the process of healing.
Still, if you're interested to know, I'll tell you how I understand the person-centered approach and why I am fully committed to working this way.
The main idea is that the person (here client) heals and develops personally when they can experience a trustworthy, accepting and empathetic relationship. I do believe, the person has an innate ability to know their way towards healing. Especially at the beginning it can be challenging to believe and trust this idea. I try to understand you as good as I possibly can and help you discover your way. I think you just need a counsellor to share your experiences, to understand and accept yourself fully. Carl Rogers put it this way "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change".
So, in my opinion, besides all the theoretic approaches, it is fundamental for a successful therapy outcome that you feel safe and understood so that you can open up and explore your experiences that have been too scary or shameful until now. I also gave an impression on the person-centered approach on https://www.psychotherapy-bauer.at/en-gb/psychotherapie
In this blog, I’ve given you a rough impression about the initial session. The required information can be worked out with your counselor, and you are in total control of how much you're ready to share and how much information you need.
Those considerations above you could start before the first session, but they can be developed throughout the first few sessions as well. Not everything has to be solved within one hour.
Yet, if you like to be prepared, I shared some hints that may be worth knowing at the beginning of your counselling process. I hope you find this helpful and experience your first session a little less stressful.
Are you ready to take the first step? Don't let fears or uncertainties hold you back. Reach out today to schedule your initial counselling session. Together, we'll navigate your personal struggles and work towards healing and growth. Whether you have a clear goal or just a hunch that something's off, counselling can make a difference. I'm here to provide a safe and understanding space where you can explore your experiences and find your way towards positive change. Take the leap and let's embark on this journey together. Contact me to book your session or ask any questions you may have. Your well-being is important, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.
We all seek love, yet many of us struggle to deeply connect with others. The surprising truth is that everyone somehow pushes love away—even if we don’t realise it. This blog explores the subtle ways we might be distancing ourselves from love and offers insights into how understanding these behaviours can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships. If you’ve ever felt frustrated or confused by your actions in love, keep reading—you may discover the key to opening your heart and letting love in.
Have you ever noticed yourself acting differently with your romantic partner than with friends? This is because romantic relationships tap into our deepest survival instincts, rooted in our early attachment experiences with caregivers. To avoid unintentionally pushing love away, it is imperative that we learn to recognise how these dynamics play out in adult relationships. This blog explores the powerful link between childhood attachment and romantic behaviour, providing insights on how to build healthier, more loving connections with your partner.
It’s not just about us, but what makes us orient in the world goes back over generations
I have just moved my private practice. Although it’s not been very far, and I haven’t moved any furniture, it hasn’t been the easiest step for me to take. Moving houses brings up a lot of associations – and I assume not just for me, as there are plenty of sayings about the meaning of home. Besides obviously “home sweet home," the idea “home is not just a place, it’s a feeling” really hit home for me. Indeed, it is a feeling, and this “feeling of home” doesn’t necessarily have to be connected to the outside place, but just like any other feeling, it needs to be taken care of and be nourished. And well, some places are more in line with our feeling of home than others. I’ve had my private practice in the same place since 2018, and I quite liked it. You may have seen the fabulous view from the top roof in the heart of Vienna. There was nothing wrong with it, and when the new place popped into my awareness, I couldn’t pinpoint what made me decide to move, despite certainly many apparent facts that weren’t in line with my experience. “On ne voit bien avec le coer, l’essentielle est invisible pour les yeux” / “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye” (Antoine de Saint-Exupery).
For most of my clients (including myself), cultural integration isn’t an obvious topic in everyday life. We’re fitting in and are used to belonging to one or the other community – usually not at the same time. It looks like one day – or even moment – we have one cultural identity and the next day another. We’re adapted either way and that’s just the way it is. It looks needless to give it another thought . . . Unfortunately, there are shiny moments that suddenly arise out of the blue and give a little painful stitch right into the heart. It’s a friend who completely forgot that most of the people outside are speaking German. And it can be a comment on my accent that keeps coming up. On such occasions, I feel slightly inadequate, I notice that there’s a part of me not seen by most people, even forgotten by my dearest friends. Looks like I’m well-integrated. Do you relate to and recognize those moments in your life when the second part of your cultural identity knocks at the door? If so, something is waiting to be integrated. And to make it even more confusing there’s a funny paradox between integration on the outside and inside yourself: the best-integrated people on the outside have many times chosen a shortcut and adapted to the cost of leaving parts of their cultural heritage behind.
Integration is a difficult topic one could easily get lost in. That’s why I want to take it to a more personal level. I’m talking about the seamless little details in everyday life, like drinking coffee or tea. Following up on them might lead us to a cultural and historical tradition like Vienna Coffee houses and English Tea time. Are you familiar with the struggles of juggling two diverse cultural traditions? The longing to belong to two (maybe even conflicting) cultures? If so, this blog is for you. And if, for whatever reason, it’s not so much your topic, but you’re close to a person with whom it resonates, chances are, you may benefit from understanding your person on a much deeper level.
I Won’t Go Speechless by Princess Jasmine (Naomi Scott) Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under Swallowing sand, left with nothing to say My voice drowned out in the thunder But I won't cry And I won't start to crumble Whenever they try To shut me or cut me down I won't be silenced You can't keep me quiet Won't tremble when you try it All I know is I won't go speechless 'Cause I'll breathe When they try to suffocate me Don't you underestimate me 'Cause I know that I won't go speechless
Today, I’m talking about a very common topic. It’s more familiar in my daily life than my neighbours: I’m not enough. About every second client session, I get to meet with one of the countless varieties of this idea. One that I honestly relate to is “I’m not smart enough”. Two days ago one of my clients brought it up while reviewing the results of her cognitive ability diagnostics with an IQ above 130. The version I encountered yesterday was “I am not concise enough” and “I am too messy to speak up”. Do you relate to this next logical step as well? “I am too ... to be seen.” And therefore “honestly, I’m so not enough that I’m unlovable. I feel ashamed and better shut up.” What a sad and lonely place to be in. I feel so sorry for this kind of suffering and as well a bit fed up. I know and understand how hard it is for each and every one of us to deal with the feeling of not being ... enough. And looking at society I’m a bit upset about all the places that support ideas of not being strong/smart/hardworking/skinny/pretty/young..... enough. From this place, I would like to shout out and warn you “Be careful who you surround yourself with”. There are certainly some environments that benefit from people who don’t feel ...enough.
Hello and welcome to my blog on the role of emotions in relationships. Today, when I speak about relationships, I'm mainly focusing on our primary attachment relationships, commonly referred to as our partnerships or relationships with our spouses. However, you'll notice similar patterns in other profound relationships, where attachment behaviour becomes more evident. The depth of a relationship often amplifies our attachment behaviours, a phenomenon observed from early childhood and persists throughout our lives. It's crucial to understand that what may be perceived as “childish” behaviour is, in fact, inherently human. Have you ever noticed that some emotions make it easier to connect to your spouse than others? I assume that you are well aware that your partner either gets upset or shuts down when they feel criticized or annoyed. Maybe you’re also struggling with feeling ashamed at times and noticed that it leads you into a pretty lonely place. More often than not, when it comes to facing difficulties with our partners, we end up feeling shameful and are very much afraid of being lonely and left alone . And on the contrary, there is sadness as Disney Pixar elaborated in “Inside Out” which has the innate ability to bring people together and connect on an even deeper level. So, how come some emotions bring us together while others keep us in a lonely place? Well, each of them has their job to fulfil. I will expand on this below, and you’ll see why it’s worth doing some emotional work…
The threads of trauma and their far-reaching impact on relationships can be complex and challenging to deal with. Whether you've been diagnosed with a trauma-related disorder, find yourself grappling with the weight of depression, or notice behavioural patterns hindering your connection with your emotions, this blog post is written for you. Have you ever felt concerned about how your struggles might cast a shadow on your relationship? Perhaps your partner has expressed frustration, dismissing the echoes of the past as irrelevant and labelling your reactions as "overreactions." In the realm of relationships, there exists a widely common pattern of a partner who turns away, leaving their significant other unseen in the wake of their trauma. Although they usually fear being faced with their loved one's painful emotions, being left behind by a significant other in their pain is a disconcerting experience for humans – no matter what age.